im a girl on a mission: to make chocolate covered strawberries. emily told me how to make them but it kinda sounds a smidge complicated. soemthing about big pots and small pots and the kind. im gonna make it for my saskia and sharon. they have this crazy obsession for anything chocolate. today i read this article in the national geographic and on the cover was this afghan lady. the weird thing is that she was on the cover of the same magazine 17 years ago but nobody knew who she was bc it was a random photograph but they recently found her again and took new pictures of her. i never knew anyone's eyes could be so pretty. i mean....her eyes are like 3 different shades of GREEN. i was so amazed. and she was so pretty too...seriously beautiful. but that was only in the picture they took of her 17 years ago and not the recent one. in the recent one she looks really old and kinda hairy and her skin looks like 20 year old leather. only her eyes look somewhat similar. i was just soo...touched. it was really amazing to see the difference between the two photographs. they were so different yet so similar.

so anyways i got a new bag yesterday! its so cute.
i have to start shaving my legs again. i havent shaved in....nearly 6 months. thats pretty long. but my legs arent super HAIRY or anything. you cant even tell from far away but still. yes well i saw this book called im the one that i want by margaret cho and it looks SO hilarious. i am definitely gonna get it. i think shes the only korean comedian in america! and she's a WOMAN.

i am doing well today. tres relaxed and peaceful. i think my methods to self improvement are working. i havent done french homework for the last two weeks. need to catch up Fast!
guys, dont be bummed. i know i put this everywhere but really, don't sweat it, they defintely aren't worth the anguish. that works for me! of course it might not work for some of you but im just saying...

things ive noticed about myself: i can change my mood in a matter of seconds. honestly. ill feel so happy one second and then something so stupid and trite happens that normally shouldnt and wouldnt disturb me in any way except ill pretend like it does and then somehow i really will feel like poop.

im too self absorbed!

thats something i have realized right this second - right after writing that first paragraph. something someone said helped me to see that. no more lilian!
telling someone your problems really does alleviate some of the burden.

hieeee my beautiful journal! i am taking a break from studying for the ap test tomorrow....geez luiz puleeeze i am soo tired of reading poetry and dumb little passages. yikes...yesterday i realized that i am a major people hater. yes that is mighty bad and i dont like being one but everyone i hate i have a legitimate reason! or sort of. i guess sometimes its for no reason. AHH its the korean coming out in me. i cant help it. i have set so many new goals for myself recently. many of them i just prefer to keep them in my little mind but one is to start being nice to the people who give me a pedicure no matter how ugly they do them or how bitchy they are. i mean.....think about it..they have to massage people's feet all day! that is seriously the nastiest job. i have to go shopping soon. i dont think my beautiful diet is working so hot. hmm..
oh another thing i realized....im a hypocrite. but id prefer to not get into that at this moment in time.
isnt it funny how some of the words in my journal are underlined and its a link to somewhere? i mean....what kind of link does CRAP go to??
pray for my mom please.