i want to write about today before the feeling slips away....it was just awesome and fun and carefree. going to the beach was so what we needed to get rid of the school feeling. dinner was so yum and delish and jamie marian and i practically licked our plates off we were so hungry. and then we watched the divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood in this really small cute charming movie theater that only plays 2 movies and has been there since the early 1900s. that movie was SO good! and funny and cute and a little psycho. and the ride home was fun too! it was sooo weird bc i turned the radio to kost and we were listening to a song and then i said it would be really perfect if they played ill be there by mariah carey right now bc i put the words to the song on jamies yearbook and she was cracking up about it and then guess what happened?!?! THAT SONG CAME ON RIGHT AFTER!!!!! was that the most perfect timing or what?!?! it was like an omen. really, i could be a psychic. we sang our old onbc songs at the top of our lungs on the way home and now my throat hurts really bad. overall, today was onbc at its best, as gay as that sounds. and it cheered marian up too! woohoo!!! and guess whose idea it was to go to the beach instead of watching videos and who dragged j & m to laguna???? yup the one and only lilian!~!@~@# hahaha

OMG i havent written in here in just about forever. well i have lots to say but not enough time to say so ill just write the basics. graduation is bringing me mixed feelings....i dont feel overwhelmingly excited "to be getting out of here" (thats the phrase everyone seems to use in my yearbook) but i am definitely not sad to be leaving all my friends. i guess it a mixture but whatever....i already have this premonition that im not going to stay in touch with most of them except probably jamie and marian and im not too sad about that fact. it's like this feeling that i have nothing of troy, my group of friends, and high school in general really imprinted in my heart and mind and i have really left no images of myself or my ideas or anything at high school. im officially washing my hands of high school i guess. i dont even think the graduation ceremony is a big deal and i would actually prefer not to go but then i would be missing out on the most official and overrated tradition in my whole life and then of course im gonna tell myself that i should have gone later and plus my parents would be freakin going crazy at me. yea so anyways i got stung by a bee at the beach today and had to go to the hospital; my foot looked like i had elephantitis and it hurt like heck and i was screaming and people were totally staring but at the time i didn't give a crap if people were looking so i kept on screaming and my grandma (i went on a family outing) kept putting saliva on me because it was supposed to take away the heat from the sting and i was getting more grossed out. i have my physics final tomorrow but i havent taken notes one day or paid attention one day or looked at my book for one second and i havent done a line of homework. i fianally convinced my mom today that it was ok for me to get a C in that class so im very relaxed about it and actually im very relaxed about all my finals or whats left of them because i freakin dont give a crap about high school. ive been reading the anne of green gables series again for the 6th time and i love anne more and more everytime i read them. she is like my BIGGEST role model ever. of course theres no way for me to be like her 100& because you have to just be born like that and i cant metamorphasize my whole personality/character/heart at this age. i wonder if she would have find me to be a kindred spirit had i known her? she has this really sweet oblivion to boys and i am trying SO hard to be like her. anyways i gotta start writing in marian's yearbook so bye.