SUPERLIL!

2003-02-18T12:45:00.000-08:00

im trying to finish my research paper to have it checked my prof. i have a lollipop in my mouth and then i drooled on my shirt. i am SUCH a dorkface. i am hungry. im a sinner. im a saint. i do not feel ashamed.

2003-02-17T22:05:00.000-08:00

im too busy to write anything but i just wanted to include what my friend tal thought of the show.

ddrdude99: on joe
ddrdude99: do they get married after this
ddrdude99: what did they just secretly say
ddrdude99: lilian dont look
ddrdude99: hes not wearing a shirt
Lil027: hahaha

ddrdude99: she is nice
ddrdude99: i like her
ddrdude99: him is stupid
ddrdude99: dont you hate when he talks
ddrdude99: i just stop listening

(on the one million dollar check)
ddrdude99: wtf
ddrdude99: how are they gonna split it
ddrdude99: they should rip it up
ddrdude99: that would be noble
ddrdude99: dude this is what i would do
ddrdude99: i would rip it up, and then say, no money in the world can buy me more happiness than zora has brought me
ddrdude99: hahaha
ddrdude99: cheeze
Lil027: OMG!
Lil027: SHE WOULD DUMP YOU RIGHT THEN AND THERE
ddrdude99: hahaha
ddrdude99: which once again shows girls are evil

2003-02-17T15:56:00.000-08:00

how are you? i am fine. so i have oodles of work to do but i feel calm. i wish i could go to classes without getting any sort of grades. it would make me want to learn so much more. like i would write essays to impress my teacher how much i have learned and to make her/him feel like she/he really did teach me something. anyways, so i have to write a research paper and a french essay and another french essay for extra credit bc im slacking in that class all within two days but its ok! because college is for learning right? and learning is for pleasure right? RIGHT. definitely. i so agree. so i have a question for you. would you rather be loved or respected? v. interesting question huh? its a big toughie but in the end i think i would like to be loved. although im really not that sure. respect is awfully nice. and i would appreciate it more. and it's just more...fullfilling. he didnt really come up with a definite answer but i think jase came to the conclusion that he would rather be respected. i was reading the entries in my archives and it was amusing to read what i had wrote. i think i was one angry confused silly girl. not that im not one now. but i was more so before. i think it is a shame that my blogs will probably have disappeared by the time im 70 cuz thats what journals are for arent they? so you can read them for amusement later when you're senile and then you can hide it in a brick somewhere and your great grandchildren or whoever else can find it and read it and love you because of all the delicious and immaturish things you wrote about? i think so. anyways i must start on my crap so more later.

2003-02-14T12:10:00.000-08:00

i have a confession to make: i think that i might switch to xanga.

i KNOW! thats so bad of me. im such a traitor. but i want to put up pictures! and i want to have people put comments on my thing! well, i havent finalized my decision yet because im so used to my poor sweet dear blog who i've been with for quite a long time.

oh yeah! haPPy valentines day my dearies!! i shall be spending today with bear-ona shopping ourselves silly (hopefully) and watching mr. christopher sing praise songs. i have to go take shower soon. im so happy my fridays are so easy - just one class that ends at 11 and then im free!!! yipee!! that rhymed! and we're not in anaheim! haha

anyways, im excited about going to new york even though i still havnt bought my ticket yet and i really do kinda want to stay at home and play with my amigos and amigas. sigh.

i dont have time to make a long entry today but hopefully ill write in here on a more regular basis. omg im so sorry my entries are so boring. i realize that i write about completely banal issues and make idiotic statements running around in my head. oh geez. damn me.

2003-01-26T13:30:00.000-08:00

i have neglected you for v. long and i am muy sorry. hahaha im watching the osbournes and this is what happened: kelly kept spraying jack (brother's name?) with hairspray in his hair and his ear. and jack said "stop spraying my fuckin prada jacket!" kelly: "omg thats the most obnoxious thing i have ever heard you say! 'i could wipe my ass with your prada jacket' " jack: "i could wipe my ass with your face" OOOOOHHH isnt that a good comeback? i have to clean the room and myself and then start doing my homework. btw i think ozzy osbourne is v. cute in a silly way. anyway my mind feels a tad bit chaotic. i want to explain why but for one i dont what exactly what it is myself and then even if i did i dont think this is the right place. i <3 you dears. these are the words that describe my mood at this very moment: great massive confusion, 50% satisfaction with some things, and i dont know. im so superficial. ahh this entry is becoming really stupid and boring and filled with freakin nonsense.

2003-01-07T13:17:00.000-08:00

i dont got nothin to say.

my books are not coming. im worried. i have a french quiz on friday and he says that the quizzes come directly from the book. dude i need to go read instead of playing online. see ya later alligators!

2003-01-05T19:33:00.000-08:00

new year's goals: make 10 new friends (so we can mingle with jenn olivia and danielles 10 new friends), stay devoted to my blog, lose 15 pounds with J & O, study diligently and raise my suffering gpa, be a good daughter, be a good sister, be a good friend, be a good person, be a better christian, make everyone like me to death, save more money, stop snoring, read one non class required book a week, and i think thats it for now...oh btw the quote below is missing a word...it should be "people's relationships are quite mysterious, no one from the outside ever really understands what makes it work."

i hope you feel better mar.

2003-01-05T16:34:00.000-08:00

i went shopping today! i opened a victoria's secret angel card~ ooh la la~ anyways i just wanted to write a quote that i read from the edge of reason: people's relationships are quite mysterious, no one from the outside ever really understands what makes work.

isnt that true?

2003-01-05T00:29:00.000-08:00

oh frick i just read what i wrote and i have possibly the worst freakin grammar for an english major. james dean is looking down upon me when i sleep. someone convince me to go to church.

2003-01-05T00:22:00.000-08:00

geez luiz puhleeze. im so sad my blog was erased. poooooo.im back at la! my lovely school theres about 5 people on the floor today though. i watched spiderman with kevin and james and i ate shin raemon but it tasted sorta yuck because the water was lukewarm. i watched lord of the rings finally. it was v. long. oh FRICK i explained this whole part about reading the sequel to bridget jone's diary - the edge of reason in my last blog and i DONT wanna write it again so i guess no one except those who've read it will know the funny parts except jason whom i pestered with the crazy funny sad life adventures of bridget. i dont wanna work i dont wanna work i dont wanna work.

everything i say is FANTASTIC
dont you agree?
dont you?
dont you?

i chopped off my hair. it short with no layers or v. little and highlighted and coated which you can hardly tell. traffic school was annoying as heck. i think i slept for about 2 hours. the guy didnt even say anything to me. it was like torture and at the end he started singing songs to us about obeying the law and this annoying guy behind me kept cursing and complaining and i wanted to smack him! jon cha came to eat lunch with me. there are so many jon/jonathans in the world but i dont blame their parents for naming them that because it means messenger of God. my mummy bought me stargazer lilies today but they all went LIMP and bent to the floor so i just took them out and am hanging them down from my bed post. boy oh boy am i exhausted or what. today the traffic school teacher was telling us about this sleep apnaea problem where people stop breathing while they sleep and they keep waking up because their brain cells tell them to start breathing and so they are constantly tired the whole day even though they were in bed for 8 hours and another sign is that they snore. that is why i think i have this sleep apnaea (sp?) disease. jason says that the only person i will marry is a deaf man because i snore. i apparently fell asleep one time while talking to him on the phone and he actually heard me snore! i am mortified and horrified because even dennis said i snore and even worse i snore really loud. i am just a little bit consoled because sandra bullocks snored like a maniac in two weeks notice and hugh grant still loved her to death at the end. of course it is just a movie but i can still hope right? i wish i could get a new job. this whole coffee business is getting boring to me. ok now i shall close here. good bye

2003-01-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

OMG i freakin wrote a shitload of crap in here and right when i pressed post i lost my internet connection. i am FUMING angry.

2002-12-31T21:09:00.000-08:00

hola como esta blog? happy new years! today is a good day. the last day. 2002. gone. forever. im gonna go now!

2002-12-30T14:05:00.000-08:00

woosh. many things to share with you dear blog. first theres fry's electronics campout night. i would never do that again. i thought i was going to catch pneumonia seriously. and i bought things i didnt even have the slightest need for!! starting with the mp3 players....groan. then the stupid monitor that i havent taken out of the box yet...then the rebate process is so freakin annoying and terribly long. i dont know what i shall do with myself. then tea partay with the ya-yas watching my best friends wedding. hmm...what did i do the next day? oh yes SHOP. like a maniac. first brea then tyler galleria then south coast. the malls were just bursting with sales! i watched catch me if you can. awesome movie. i am the second mouse!! =) went camping. it rained. i caught a fish. we stayed at a motel. that's all i shall say about that. i ate 2 hot dogs because i forgot that hot dogs are the worst things to eat filled with the most preservatives and such and such but i was so hungry. i watched chicago with mariana and clarence....superb movie. i cant decide if its better than the musical. i think if i were to see the musical again then i would be sure to say that THAT is much better but i dont know at the moment. came to my house and watched the fight club. another good movie! i want to go to disneyland like jamie did................!@ haha i still have to give 4 people their christmas presents. i should andale. my back hurts so bad from the fall down the stairs. o my goodness gracious. anyways nothing i ever say on this makes sense to me when i read it over but hopefully it does to you, whoever is reading this. i have to go to traffic school on saturday. i am so dreading it. im afraid ill be in class with a bunch of horribly old fat smelly people with their teeth missing. i dont know what they DO for 9 hours. have you ever wondered why person #1 always like person #2 after person #2's huge crush on person #1 has gone away? and then person #1 realizes what he/she missed out on and beats him/herself over with stick. and the person #1 is determined to make person #2 like them again but by this time it is too late. sigh. i miss my anne of green gables books but they are all unfortunately in storage. i need my dose of anne. she is my idol. toodooloos dahlins.

2002-12-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

merry christmas!! i love you!

2002-12-20T23:44:00.000-08:00

hello blog. im sick. and runny nosed. its absolutely junyaleeg. (reference from the divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood novel) im constantly cold too. i wear a scarf and socks and mittens even when im in the house! the nutcracker was soosoosoo beautiful! julie kent is amazing. i was very very disappointed that ethan stiefal wasnt in it. he was supposed to be! outrage! but it was still great. the ballerinas are so freakin perfect! the first part of nutcracker is ohmygosh so boring i pinched my cheek to pay attention. i think clara is annoying. south coast was even more packed than brea mall which is understandable. i finally turned in my necklace to get it fixed. i saw 2 weeks notice today. how amazing is hugh grant???? how hot is hugh grant??? how beautiful are his eyes??? ok so even though he has kinda gross teeth they give him character. today i enjoyed my second enjoyable pho experience. it was simply delicious. i adore pho. mariana is so funny! tonight we went to her house but her mom wasnt at home so mariana thought that she had been kidnapped or something and when i tried to open the door into the house she held me back, got a ski pole and holding it like a baseball bat she slowwwwly crept into the house. the whole house got inspected that way. i was cracking my head off. like she could have really done something even if there was a burglar! and then her mom came home and saw marian put the ski pole away and after hearing her explanation she was like...are you out of your mind?? when i went to the mall i saw about 10 people from troy. geeeezzzz. and then i saw cathy the next day. ive seriously been to the mall every single day this week. its horrible. im becoming a detested mall rat. shudder. ok anyways i gotta jet now buh bye!

2002-12-16T21:16:00.000-08:00

im at our new house right now. it feels extremely weird to live in such small of a space with my whole family. the first night here our family got in a huge fight because everyone was so cramped. and there is no privacy whatsoever. thank God it's temporary. i keep encouraging my parents to go look at new houses everyday. oh goodness we almost couldnt fit our tv in here! we had to take out the whole front window to put it in. and literally 50% of our furniture is in storage. voila! thats the end of my complaining. i spend too much money on shopping dear blog. WAY too much! i have to go at least 2 more times...tomorrow with chris and once more with grace. we already told each other what we want! she said that she got back 400 from uci after her tuition was paid for by the fafsa thing and so i could pick whatever i want. =) i picked boots. and she wants a jacket. ahh! i think im gonna spend the most on HER! geez luiz puhleeze. i miss cute boy. eunice thinks he's cute too. OMG we have NO freakin toilet paper in the entire freakin house. we have been using paper towels and kleenax since yesterday. how SAD. ok well anyways, why are some people so cold for no reason? sometimes i don't get it why they would go out of their way to be an indifferent person when its easier to act like you care. i ate 7 mandarin orange things today! they are so yummmmy! i adore whistles! i feel like a camp counselour or something. i went to the used bookstore yesterday and bought 2 books: around the world in 80 days and ramona. i started ramona before i went to sleep yesterday. its pretty ok right now dont know if i'll like it for sure but it feels nice to be reading books again. oh that reminds me dina still has my divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood book. that book is so fantastic. it's one of rosie o donnels's favorite books too. i wish so much that she wasnt gay and that she didnt go and make her hair all ugly and it seems like she doesnt smile and laugh as much as she used to. AHH poop. its really none of my business i suppose. i miss my dorm! i feel like thats my real home now since we moved out of our house. i need to go buy more wrapping paper. i smell again because i didnt take a shower today. my excuse is that its good for my hair. i am quite the silly litte girl arent i? oh! 2 days ago i went to this one dinner party thing and the people sitting next to me told me they thought i look 15! i was like NO IM 18! and im in college! and i drive! their jaws were so hanging at least 2 inches. whatever! at least i can get into disneyland for the kid's price! HAH HAH HAH! anyhooter bloggers, i must depart you now. have a long peaceful sleep while im gone and wake up refreshed for my next entry.

2002-12-09T16:54:00.000-08:00

i met cute boy! more on that later. my cosmos final is tomorrow......no comment on that. i was so crestfallen to discover that i can't trust some people. and its worse because i thought they were so trustworthy you know? and i respected that so much about them even when they wouldnt tell me what they knew and i was dying with curiousity. its not like i dont want to be friends with them anymore but i just feel robbed. like i was majorly deceived.

i made a FANTASTIC cd of slow, sweet, sad love songs. ive been listening to it all yesterday and today. tell me if you want a copy! you'll love it. trust me.

i really think dennis is so sexually frustrated. he keeps making suggestions!! vulgar ones too. actually its not suggestions. its more like blunt requests. look below for an example:

LiL027 : you will get an a
ping0177 : if I dont
ping0177 : can we have sex?

can i say yuck?! he thinks im his sex bitch or something! which i find weird because theres a super long list of girls who are infatuated with him. why? beat's me. something quirky about him i suppose.

im taking four classes next quarter. i dont want to but its for the best mar tells me.

i love my friends so much. my new ones too. i love everyone. i never knew so many people liked dave matthews band. chris and i made a bet and we asked random people if they like them and whoever reached ten first one. it was SO close. we were at 9 to 9. and then the last person said they loved them. so he won. darn.

i wanna go buy shoes! irana said they were on sale at ackerman. ta ta mes cheries!

2002-12-04T14:20:00.000-08:00

today is a wonderful watermelonny day. =) i turned in my last english paper so i only have french and cosmos to worry about. except that the only class i sincerely care about are my english ones and if i get a's in them i will be so ecstatically happy that my other grades wont matter although they will be a big damper on my gpa. yeah POOP. so quarters are almost over and i really dont have anything much to write in here. i mean i DO but nothing that i want to share too much. i still have 44 freakin meal plans to use up in the next 7 days. thats like 6 meals per day. i wish my hair was long. and massively curly with little ringlets everywhere. that would be so awesome. then i could just let if poof around. haha. i love stamps. espcially the pretty ones. so timeless arent they? im drinking cranberry juice because it tastes sour. i have to start preparing for my french presentation with irano soon. oh my goodness dennis just stole my phone to make me go study the cosmos with him and plus chris is playing his freakin gypsy belly dancing dave matthews band music really loud so i will go.

2002-11-25T18:34:00.000-08:00

i dont know why everyone has a xanga now? i am going to stay faithful to my blog. im just writing in here as an excuse not to start on my paper about damn earthquakes. i think im getting about 4 cavities bc im eating candy so so so much. i still have the candy from my mom's care package and then jamie and marians candy too. horrible! i try to brush my teeth 3 times a day. its only a month till christmas! im SO excited. i adore christmas. and i love buying presents for people too. i wish i could have the willpower of some people to do my work and not procrastinate. honestly! when will i ever learn? i lost my room key on saturday. i think its in paulettes car but i havent had a chance to talk to her yet. it was so funny on friday night when i signed her in as my guest. the check in guy was telling us about the rules of having a guest over and paulette was like DONT WORRY I WONT GET YOU IN TROUBLE really loud and so we go to my room and she forgot her wisdom teeth medicine or something so she had to go back to her car. she offered to just go so i gave her my bruin card just in case but after 15 minutes she still wasnt here so i was gonna get her but then something interesting on tv came on so i got distracted. well 3 mintues later this guy knocks on my door - the same guy who checked me and paulette in and he looks at me and says "how can you leave your friend hanging like that?" i was like what?! and he said my friend got caught trying to use my card and then he gave me this lecture on fraud and how i could get community service. he said that he tried to call my room but apparently we didnt have a phone and i was like no no we do have a phone but we're rearranging our electronical things and he was like Electronical? OBVIOUSLY you're not an english major. but of course i AM one so it was funny and embarrassing. crud i really gotta start revising my paper la dee dee. toodles mes bebes!

2002-11-19T02:58:00.000-08:00

i am soo exhausted right now. wanna fall into bed but i want to write down things before i lose them. what a marvelous birthday i had! my weekend was so awesome eating and playing with my family and friends. i ate about 5 meals at restaurants for birthday and i got chocolate cake like at every one. horrible! grace took me to watch harry potter on sunday even though i had 2 essays due on monday! i didnt even start my french one until like 9 pm because stephen came to la and jenn dennis and christina was taking him places. i got such delicious gifts this year! practically everyting i asked for and more. thank you to everyone!!! my mom got me a really cute and small video camera! but i think its really a present to our family too. and marian and jamie surprised me today!!! they came into my room at like 7 with balloons and a bag of goodies. wowie i was gigantuously shocked. except the only thing that was weird was that stephen said something about jamie taking him back to sd and i was like oh jamies back home? of course he denied it so i didnt think anything more of it. we went to go smoke hookas! i am so freakin legal now! and we shared some mucho quality time together talking. dude marian is one crazy girl! we were walking down to de neve and all of a sudden she snaps around and says GARY?? to some guy who looks at her like shes the biggest weirdo. and then she goes on to explain that shes seen his pictures from his friend who goes to ucsd and then they start talking. what a moment. jamie parked her car at ucla and put in 2 quarters which is like 16 minutes because she thought that we were gonna leave like right away but then we ended up staying at ucla for like 2 hours and so we were all worried that she got a parking ticket but miraculously she didnt! soo lucky! we stole like 84,000 postcards from the cafe habibi. actually they were free. i just gave dennis his present. i just know that he adores them. and the cake i made was yum too. ahh chris made me the cutest card! honestly it was so adorable with our ballroom dance inside jokes. anyways i just came back from the meteor shower and maybe im really blind with my glasses or maybe theres just too much fog in la but i couldnt see crap. mucho disappointed. anyways need sleep. almost 3. goodnight.

2002-11-14T19:03:00.000-08:00

i slept for 3 hours today. i was so unbelievably exhausted today. 3.5 hours of sleep is definitely not good for me. and im beginning to doubt the perks of working. hate waking up at 5 on thursdays. my last paycheck was a measly 40 dollars. i cant even buy one outfit with that. but on the other hand, i meet lots of new people and it really is fun. why am i working right now when this is the last time i wont ever have to work before i graduate and have to go to a real job every single day. i missed ccm today. and yoga starts in 30 minutes but im not in the mood to go because i feel so icky and filthy. and plus our floor is giving us free in n out and diddy reese tonight. anyways i need to go pick out my classes for next quarter. u-c-llll-a! u-c-l-a fight fight fight! they keep chanting that outside for the soccer game.

2002-11-13T21:04:00.000-08:00

i am back from the first ucla basketball game against branch west basketball academy...who the heck is that?? anyways i left at halftime bc i have work tomorrow morning and plus we were losing by like 16 points.

geeeez some people just TAKE my words and TWIST them around like pretzels to suit their need. they make INCORRECT guesses as to what i am trying to say. POOPHEADS! i hate yall.

dude amanda is being such an anal bitch lately.

today a boy named bobby lo (not the yorba linda one) said i had chubby cheeks because i dont cuss enough and all my stress cannot be relieved or something like that. doesnt that sound so ridiculous? so he said i should try cussing hardcore for one week and see if my cheeks deflate.

i want a smoothie right now. and i need to take a shower. or not. i really dont need to bc all i do tomorrow is work, class, class. study. ccm/yoga? sleep. goodbye. i am feeling awfully pissed right now for some reason. maybe i am going to start my rag soon. i doubt thats the reason.

2002-11-12T12:01:00.000-08:00

Hello dear journal - i didnt go to my cosmos lecture today. i just felt tired by the notion of sitting through 75 minutes of pure boredom and listening to the nasty droning voices of whoever is gonna lecture today. so im sitting in my room finishing up farenheit 451 for english tomorrow. why o why do i have to take this stupid cosmos class?? i would be so content just taking english history french anything non-science-y. this weekend was oodles of fun! went to grace on campus...finally after 2 months of saying i would go...everyone was so nice! i like it so much when people are nice. watched 8 mile with jam mar and brian on saturday....i am finally a pho fan! can you believe it? no neither can i. marian of course didnt finish her noodles as she does with everything. im actually craving some right now. really bad. my mummie was so shocked when i told her i like it now. went to eat at the loft too! chicken katsu! bacon fried rice! heaven. and of course i had to go to tgif happy hour...hahaha i sound like a major ms. piggy now. moving on, i have my classes for next year picked out: english french cosmos part 2 and communications. i was thinking of philosophy in literature instead of communications but i think i need a fun class. my mom bought the michael jackson dvd and its SO good. he is so amazingly great. going to watch harry potter with grace this friday! we decided to make it a tradition because last year it came out 1 day before my birthday so she took me to go see it and its coming out on the same weekend this year so shes taking me to go watch it. last time i fell asleep though because it was so corny and a disappointing replica of the book. grace got so mad! :) now that i think about it i watched that movie twice with jam jase and clarence although i reallllllly didnt want to watch it. do you remember the part about the Boy who cannot be named jamie????? omg that was so funny. we started cracking up like crazy. i get a 33 percent employee discount at the ucla store next week so im gonna take full advantage of it and start buying ucla things for everyone's christmas present. is that being really cheap? i dont think so bc even with the discount everything is really overpriced. ok i must resume my reading now. farewell everyone for now!

2002-11-07T15:36:00.000-08:00

just got up from a delightful long nap. it felt soooo good to sleep after waking up at 5:30 this morning!! i still cant believe im gonna have to wake up so early on thursdays. but work was really fun so its worth it! i can finally make drinks and do stuff without asking a gazillion bazillion questions to everyone. this week was such a major pain in the butt. i was waiting for thursday to come since sunday morning when i started writing english paper. then french paper. then research paper. then french test. ahh!!! i have been going insane. and now my appetite is growing bc i took a nap while michelle and julie went to go eat california rolls at hedrick. chris say eminem and alicia silverstone and kim basinger and all those famous people yesterday at the premiere of 8 mile. just thought id add that in there because it sounds so hollywood-y. i dont know if i should go to ccm or yoga class tonight. i want to make ccm a weekly habit but then i have yoga lessons on thursdays and i already paid for those. i guess i should find out the class time on tuesdays and go to those so i can attend ccm without this guilty wasting my mother's money feeling creeping up on me. ok so i know i put this on my last blog entry but i must put it in here again because AGAIN the marching band is making an unbelievable ruckus outside. they only practice on thursdays and fridays and i am for some reason always writing here on those days i guess. OMG what day is today?? it was bo's birthday yesterday! ...ok i made a post it to call her later tonight and wish her a happy birthday. oo! oh! i forgot to mention that i received an A on my first english paper! well it was an a- but i am still happy. i put oodles of hours into that poopy thing so i would have been crappily bummed out if i received anything less. ok its 3:28 right now and the dining halls and carusos dont open until 5. what shall i do??? umm i want to steal tacquitos from next door. yuuummm. or actually i want to eat at a real restaurant tonight. like somewhere super delish. blah i guess i can indulge myself in the scrumptious flavorness of tgif (happy hour!!) heros (piggys) buca di peppo (jons going away) and everywhere else this weekend when i go home. oh! and absolutely CANNOT forget tobasco. ahh marian! my tobasco buddy where are you?? i still have the teensy mini tobasco bottle you brought my from arizona (i think?)! haha verona is my ucla tobasco chum. Duchess Eagle Soars Over Hills must depart now my dear readers. Au revoir!

p.s. the divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood came out on tv and video. if you want to make me jump with joy on my birthday buy it for me please!

2002-10-31T17:48:00.000-08:00

this girl caroline who is my roomies study mate came into our room today and she is this huge makeup fanatic and we compared makeup and she did all our makeup for us. she even talks like a makeup artist: yea the magical mushroom gives off this olive like iridescense blah blah. i felt like such a girly girl. the marching band is playing really loud AGAIN for the umpteenth time. its driving me nuts. i cant stand it anymore. hmmmmm theres oodles of birthdays in november..ryan, bo, jackson, ME!, dennis. its so weird how jacksons is 17th, im the 18th, and dennis is 19th. oh its jenn kims bday on the 18th too. except shes turning 19. i always have a friend whos bday is super close to mine. i am always in company. i am sooo behind in french. its unbelievable. this is my birthday list: i want a new bible, king james version, small and paperbackish; a new bottle of pleasures, im almost out (caroline told me that they dont sell sexy graffitti anymore!); warm fuzzy slippers; a watch; a wallet; and thats about it for now. does that make me look selfish? i hope not. i always tend to act a little rambunctious around my birthday. when i was little i used to countown to my birthday from a month before and told everyone i met exactly how many days were left. and i need some really good books to read. please tell me if you have any recommendations. i havent read a BOOK book that ive wanted to read since summer! gastrous. its getting horribly cold these days and i need to start bringing my winter jackets before i freeze my butt off. and i need an umbrella. im yawning like mad right now. must go lay down before going out. ta ta dahlins!

2002-10-31T10:05:00.000-08:00

HAPPY HAlLOWEEN! i just came back from my first day of work today. fun!! very hectic kinda confusing. it was killer waking up at 5 today. lounged in bed for little before i actually got out. french class is starting right at this moment but i decided not to go because cosmos midterm is in uno hour. i hope i studied enough. i think i did. blah. nerds suck. i studied with so many people yesterday! james olivia shelly and study group for like 5 minutes. please let me do good God. i have 2 essays due on monday and 1 one tuesday......kuh-razy! ahhhhhh i need to go shopping pronto. my mommy's coming this satruday so we shall enjoy quality time together spending money. =) ok gonna go do some last minute review. toodles!

2002-10-28T21:10:00.000-08:00

just came back from ballroom dance class...i think i lose about a thousand calories there because i crack up so much. i was wearing my tall flip flops and one of them accidentally came off during a waltz right in front of scary teacher. so we have decided to not go to the michelle branch commercial thing tomorrow because of dumb ol midterms. my outline for research paper is due tomorrow. started a little bit. really really need to start studying. i wonder how many people read this? please tell me it its interesting. i would like to know so i can make it better or whatever, please pray that i do not fall ill or i will just absolutely feel like POO POO. i like it when someone who i haven't talked to calls me. i get this fuzzy nostalgic feeling. ok need to start reading like kuh-razy!

2002-10-27T18:46:00.000-08:00

today i felt this weird longing to go to church really bad and i was singing praise songs all day. i looked from my bible but i left that at home and i only had my little orange bible from the gideons and the God's promises for the graduate book that jamie got me (thanks james!) so i started reading those except that the orange bible is a little strange. every part where it was supposed to be the word LOVE it said CHARITY; like the verse where it says "now abide faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." i was so confused at first. i dont like the cute little orange bible anymore. today i jumped/fell out of my bed and landed like spiderman. i felt like i was invincible for about 1 minute. and today i spilled yogurt on my feet and all over my carpet marking lilians first stain. theres about a hundred of them in our room. my face feels all huffy and puffy because i slept for 2 hours today. i still havnt read anything for the cosmos yet i think im going to be up all night doing that. poopers. arg! ok so i think i need a boy to like; so many girlies have a crush on a boy and i want one too! except that i am not too interested right now. dont worry i think ill snap out of it soon amigas. ok then dennis keeps thinking that i stole his stupid rubber duckies. last night he came into our room and used all my post-its to write meany things about me and posted it all over the room! when i woke up i thought i was going crazy bc i kept seeing the green post its everywhere. on my glasses he put im blind as a monkey on my picture frames he put i wish i have friends etc etc so are you wondering if i really did steal his ducks? well so what if i did?! haha ill give them back some time or another. hey i might see michelle branch and santana!! hahaha right.

2002-10-26T20:59:00.000-07:00

my parents came to visit me today. we went to go eat dinner at wonderful de neve and then they came to inspect my room. my grandma as flabbergasted at the state of my side of the room and she got a bigger shock when i told her that my boy next door neighbor came and cleaned my desk one time. we went grocery shoppinjg at ralphs to buy watah, soap, ice cream and other yummies. job training was kinda fun! the people there are really nice and they were all very helpful. i got free ice cream, italian soda, strawberry tea, and capucinno. whew. i could only finish the ice cream. i think its going to be a very fun job except at first ill probably be crazily confused at how to make all the drinks. o and plus i got tired after standing 2 hours but normally im gonna be up for like 4. i talked to jonathan today. its kinda strange to see how much he changed from junior year. angles won!! woohoo im not a big angels fan or anything but im so happy for those people who are. i HAVE to start reading for my cosmos class.

2002-10-26T01:34:00.000-07:00

homecoming parade was blah. i think i missed the good singer and band parts. we waited 1.5 hours to get to broomballing! my goodness it was getting hor-eeble. so i am back and i feel peaceful because i have the whole room to myself even though its a little strange to be alone for once. the scab on my thumb is really really beginning to itch andi wanna pick it off but i kno it will hurt like heck and ill be whining all over again. so um lets see nothing too much happened since i last wrote in here. my side of the room is messy again...i wish jamie or dennis would just come over and clean it all the time. that would be awfully nice. time to sleep soon i feel exhausted. must study for midterm. goodbye.

2002-10-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

its been approximately one month since i last wrote in here and i missed it a little so here i am. college is still nice met oodles of people; hmm i have a midterm next week for the stupid study of the cosmos class i cant believe im taking such a psychotic class. i was bamboozled by the name. so i am going broomballing in 2 hours and im gigantuously excited; i wanted to go when i was at sd but all the lazy butts there didnt want to to go. goodness gracious while i was there mariana got me interested in guitar so i leaned 2 lines of the blues song and ive been practicing spanish romance with chris since. except he only knows christian songs so poop. not that i dont want to learn them but i wanna play more contemporary songs. speaking of christian songs, i went to a bible study meeting on wednesday. i wanted to go to kcm but i couldnt find it so i went to aacf with daniel and steven. the speaker said something interesting: you have to believe everything in the Bible even though some parts of it may be politically incorrect like homosexuality, the role of women and men, etc.. but i find that so weird because according gay people and people who have studied homosexuality, being gay is not something you choose; its something that you are born with. but then why would God make those sorts of people if it contradicts what the bible says?? answer that! today i went to my job training but then no one told me that i had to wear sneakers and long pants and a visor so i went wearing sandals and capris. i felt like such an unprepared poopoo. she just gave me a shirt and told me to come back tomorrow. i hope i finish before my parents come to visit. tomorrow is parents day! anyway im going to eat in n out with my beautiful college friends. toodles!

2002-09-23T01:48:00.000-07:00

hey guys!!!! im at coooollllege!!! i L-O-V-E it here! its mucho fun and my roomies are sooo nice! im usually at my next door neighbors and i feel so at home. we went to couple frat parties tonight but i was so not impresed by them. dunno about the whole greek thing anymore. i hope everyone is happy and doing well at their colleges!!! ok gotta go bc im using my roomies computer since i just ordered mine yesterday, hopefully i get it SOON. ta-ta!

2002-09-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

ok so this is my third time writing in here today technically but the first one was from last night. yea so ive been seeing a lot of my old friends from long time ago lately. this is so it. like really, no more high school or being young and stupid and babied. i talked to mariana today and she seems to be doing well although a little sad. i think im gonna be sad my first couple days too. i picked up my pictures from costco today and they turned out so cute!! almost all of them; a couple of them turned out weird bc the picture was taken at the wrong time and then theres this one where i took a double shot with one film so it looks pretty funny. its a mixture of a picture when we were at jamies house and the other one is the one with me and marian at magic mountain sticking our faces out through those little cardboard cutouts with holes instead of the face. i have lots of things to finish up tomorrow like packing and buying last minute stuff returning my library books etc. oh. i wanna use my onbc backpack at la but its so dirty! im planning to wash it tomorrow but i hope it doesnt end up all wrinkly and gross and retarded by the time its clean. im going out in a couple minutes to say bye bye to friends from valencia. i hope oodles of people visit me and email me and phone me at la! really!! even if i dont talk to you that much anymore it would be really nice to converse once in a while. and im expecting letters from my f.b. every 2 weeks!!! oh my mom finally bought a new tv today. and i dont know why but i think she went a little spending crazy and bought a home theater system and a new dvd player. so i've pretty much decided Not to join a sorority from all the stuff that guy told me today and plus other stories but who knows? im still planning to check them out during rush week and might end up really loving it. ok im not going to have a computer at ucla for almost 2 weeks because i just ordered mine today. poopers. at least ill have to learn to live without one for a while. gotta jet now!

2002-09-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

the weirdest thing happened today. i was cooking playing with my mummie and auntie at home when the doorbell rang and this guy was there selling magazines and i said sorry weve tried that and we dont like it too much and then the guy is like well anyways yea i just moved here and im looking for some things to do; do you know of any places? and im like ok you weirdo and i told him i was leaving for school on saturday and hes like what school and i said ucla and hes like no shit! i go there too. and then i went outside and i started talking to him for like 30 minutes and he was telling me all these crazy stories about ucla-ers and how they get drunk and do weed and theres parties every day. and he said that as long as i figure out the best method to study then getting good grades and partying will be nooooo problem. and also that freshmens have the most fun because its all so new and all the upperclassmen come up to them and just become friends and show them around the party scene and even though you dont do drugs or whatever everyone has so much fun. . so in conclusion you know how yesterday i was kinda wanting to go to ucsd with my friends?? welllll no longer!!!!! :) im getting majorly excited. i went to go eat brazilian barbeque today and it was soosososososoossoso gooooood!!!! and its such a fun place to eat. i hope i get to see jamie today before she leaves for sd. im gonna go visit them next week maybe with eunice. right ? ok be back in a bit

2002-09-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

hullo darling journal. today was a day of many thoughts and events. yesterday and today the maid people caught me alone at home for the first time and i felt super awkward when they began doing the work. i felt so unbelievably spoiled and lazy and because i didnt have anything to do until they left i just sat around reading a book in the areas where they werent working and it became so weird to move everytime they came into the room that i was in. i mean i only 17 and these people were like my mumma's age. i felt so embarrassed. i dont think i can have maids when i grow up. and since i hate cleaning my house will just have to be a pigsty. marian and jason left today for sd. that was a little sad; but not really. mainly everyone already left so im used to this left behind feeling. i was thinking how fun it would have been to go to ucsd with nearly all my good friends from high school even sera and i told my mom that but she said its much better that im going to a school where all my friends arent going so i can make new friends and broaden my horizens and plus it would be more special to see my old friends during christmas break or something. which essentially is true. so im mighty pissed because i dropped off my film at costco on sunday and i go back today and i spend 10 minutes looking for it and finally i ask them if its there and they're like oh it'll be here by 6 pm but of course i forgot to go so now i have to go back tomorrow. what a hassle! im reading the biography of elizabeth taylor. she was soooo gorgeous when she was young. really, she was so perfect but she got extremely heavy and a little ugly. my mom and i talked so much today about everything. i told her many of my high school secrets and the things that shes been nagging me for. i think my moms such a teenager at heart. i love love love my n.e.r.d cd. its so good. my fave song is brain. my fave line - do i really even love you? / or do i really love your....brain. - i find that so true. brians is such a key factor in guys. oh i got another letter from a girl in a sorority today. thats like the 4th one. i was SO gung ho about joining one but now after everyone discouraging me im not so sure. like cathy asked me why i wanted to buy my friends and that girls get into parties for free anyways. lol thats so cathy. thats the general opinion expressed by nearly everyone and also my mom thinks that its some cult thing when i told her how we were sisters for life and stuff. but really, ive wanted to be in one since i was so little and this is the chance to do it. the only part that worries me is that i dont know if i want to be in a sorority for all 4 years. i feel like ill never meet anyone new or different who stays outside of the greek thing. so yea. thats a big dilemma. im pretty sure im gonna rush though. oh and i dont know if i should join an asian one or a regular one? thats another question. ahhh i still have a tad bit of time to decide. thats all for tonight.

2002-09-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

this morning i woke my mom up at 4 so she could go to the mountain for her temple thing but then while im waking her up i fall asleep on her bed where my aunt is also sleeping and then my aunt starts hassling me to drive my mom there and im like NO i dont want to bc i hate going there and besides i already volunteered to take my mom but she refused and if my aunt wanted somone to drive my mom why didnt she do it??? i was soooo mad at my stupid aunt but eventually i felt so guily because i remembered all the times my mom dropped me off and picked me up so i just got up and drove her there. i can never decide if my aunt is a grown up or a kid. she acts so unbelievably selfish sometimes and im not just talking about today and normally im ok with it because shes more fun that way but then sometimes she acts like a big uptight bitch and orders me around like she is the mature adult. my mom says that shes like this because shes the youngest and always got away with everything. i guess thats the youngest child syndrome. anyways so i got home and we had guests over so we ate lunch and went shopping. my mom gave away our last tv so we went to go get a new one today but ended up not getting one because we couldnt decided if we wanted a big one or a medium sized one. so far that makes 3 tvs that my brilliant mother either broke or gave away; i dont understand! i got my microwave for dorm today but there were no cute answering machines that i wanted so i refrained. i went to jeffrey and jackie's house to watch a legally blonde..that movies so cute! ohh i bought the n.e.r.d. cd at best buy today for 9.99 and i was super excited because it was so cheap but then i go to target and its 8.99 and im a little irked because best buy guarantees the lowest price and on the receipt it says if you find the same product somewhere else for cheaper they'll give you the difference and so i wanted to go back for like a split second but then i thought against it because i mean its only a dollar and normally i couldnt care less but today it bothered me a tad bit but its just too late now bc im listening to it. tomorrow several of the troy gals and guys who havent left yet are eating breakfast at las brisas. that place is soo pretty! ok catch ya later!!

2002-09-15T00:02:00.000-07:00

i finished rachels holiday at borders today. i havent been there to read in a while. it was nice to go back. there are lots of memories there...esp the yorba linda one. exactly one year ago everything began there. the drama. the friendships. of which several has lasted. im so happy for senior year. im very glad that i actually went out and made an effort to make new friends besides the people ive known since freshman summer school. oh marian got me a shot glass from alaska!! haha i wonder when i will ever use it? if ever i do. i've decided to abstain from drinking during college at least in the beginning. i think you gain more respect from other people despite those who pretend they are cooler than you are because they drink. well people who matter anyways will think so. not to mention SELF-respect. but theres also the question of social drinking?? or is that the same thing as party drinking? i dont think they are. i'll figure that out later. im not even that compatible with alcohol at least my body isnt. this journal thing is a little strange because its basically like im telling people what i think but i cant a lot of my innermost thoughts because of certain people or bc its just simply too personal. doesnt that defeat the purpose of a journal? but i can never keep up with a handwritten journal so i guess this is better than nothing. ok time to go take a shower. i didnt take one today! ewwww yes yes i know that sounds gross but its actually not very healthy to take one every day anyways so i dont care except that my hair itches! and then i feel quite disgusted. and thats how i feel at this moment so im gonna go take one now. toodles dahlins!

2002-09-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

hiiii blog!! im happy right now. i think its because my mom and my sister and i made and ate dinner and cleaned up together. i do believe that my mother is getting a little sad that im going to college. we had such fun together preparing dinner and then while linda and i were doing dishes my mumma was trying to show off her new salt and pepper bottles to us but she dropped the salt one and it went SPLAT! all over the kitchen floor right in the middle of her sentence and it was so hilarious. yup! we're going to magic mountain on friday so yayeee! even though i just went like last month and it wasnt as great as disneyland or anything. oh geez my mom just cut her finger on a piece of glass so i whipped out my first aid kit and bandaged it for her. wow....am i quick or what. i made cookies for people today!! and i delivered them all too. i think im such a saint. although the chocolate chip ones got a tad bit burnt. you guys still liked it right??????? grr* the answer better be yes!! dude i got my meningitis (sp??) shot today. sissy jason told me it would hurt a lot so i was being a big scaredy cat in front of the nurses but then they did it and it didnt hurt at all! what a baby he is huh?? im kinda bored now because almost everyone left and i wish classes would start soon. i think im gonna love my english class. and the seminar on ghost stories. :)!!!!!! right now im listening to foo fighters :: if everything could feel this real forever :: linda gave my sn to her friends and now i have all these weird girls IMing me. and they demand that i put her online. what little brats. goodbye.

2002-09-10T22:05:00.000-07:00

alert!* i got a speeding ticket today. it was so sad. i was trying so hard not to get any tickets for at least 3 years and then i go and get one. and the whole thing turned out even worse because i was with my whole family and it happened to me like 3 minutes away from my house and my mom even told me to be careful because there were a lot of cops in that area. can you believe it? but i figured there was no use crying and whining about it to get out of it since grace and jamie did that and it didnt work for them so i just accepted my ticket with dignity. no one was mad at me so i just forgot about it and i am Calm now. so i read a room with a view today. it was super good and i like it a lot. i recommend it. i really wanna go shopping. and i have to go to magic mountain soon too. anyways theres nothing really dramatic enough in my life to write about and my brain seems a little empty. i only get in the mood to write a lot when im angry or sad or excited or etc. thats strange isnt. ill write more later

2002-09-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

geeez high school was so fun and cheesy and dramatic. i thought of that today when someone was asking me for advice about LOVE. hah. right. love. so anyways i got a letter today from a guy from the ucla grace on campus organization. he wrote me this really long handwritten letter and it just said stuff like ucla is a secular school and you need to find shelter in the right ministry and etc. im wondering if i should join. this religion question is really beginning to disturb me in a major way. i feel this force drawing me towards God and bible and church but parts of me dont want to enter that stuff again. but when i find myself praying i feel like theres so many questions im confused about and like even praying doesnt clear anything up but it makes my confusion worse. i feel guilty when i ask for help with things or such because i never do anything but ask for help. basically my prayers are usually the same every day. i dont know whats stopping me from wholeheartedly giving into God. wow that sounded seriously wack.
moving on, i need to lose about 10 pounds pronto.
and get my pictures from a long time ago developed.
and go shopping
and buy a microwave and answering machine for college.

2002-09-08T21:47:00.000-07:00

geez have i not written in here for forever or what? i thought that my blogs didnt work anymore but i checked it right now and i guess it does. my cousin from korea is staying with us for a couple days and hes sooo nice! he used to play with me when i was living korea. im trying to take him around and have fun and stuff but our house is in such desperate need of cleaning that my mom never lets us go out too much. all the rooms in our house are a different color! mine is lavendar and my sisters is buttercup and my aunts is sky blue and my parents is pale green. i only have 2 more weeks till college...im not too excited for it at the moment but i think i will be once i get settled in. my roomies called yesterday and they sound pretty nice. hey hey read this!!!

Life is tough.
It takes up a lot of your time, all your weekends,
and what do you get at the end of it?
...Death, a great reward.
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way.
Then you should live twenty years in an old-age home.
You get kicked out when you're too young,
you get a gold watch, you go to work.
you work for forty years until you're
young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You go to college, you party until you're ready for high school,
you become a little kid, you play, you have no responsibilities,
you become a little boy or girl, you go back into the womb,
you spend your last nine months floating.
And you finish off as a gleam in someone's eye.
Norman Glass

isnt that pretty?? it was in chicken soup for the college soul. im rotting. someone come and take me away pleasee. i wanna join the peace corps. and marry frank sinatra and dean martin and join the mafia and climb mt. everest. i wanna go on a safari in africa and ride horseback across america witnessing battles between cowboys and indians. i wanna become a master plumber and a gourmet chef while getting a college education.
ok so no matter how many new screenames i get i cant seem to get away from my lil027 one. ive had that for like 5 years! i think its gonna be my sn for life man. ok im tired of writing.

2002-09-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

asdfasd

2002-07-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

hi i just got back from eating dinner with mr. chiang and grace. he bought us gal-bu and ice cream it was soooo delish!! we saw min & emily & john at denny's. i made 3 more customers out of them! yay! the ya-yas went to the oc fair today. it was fun and we spend a buttload of money there. everything cost so much! we bought these cute little lei tiara things and we took oodles of picture in those its ridiculous. yesterday i saw austin powers with eunice and naomi. well actually just anus and then naomi came with us to eat dinner and we took sticker pictures at life which took like an HOUR because the machine kept breaking down. and plus everything was in japanese so we didnt know how to do anything and we ended up with the basic of everything. it was extremely fobland there and i seriously hope l.a. is not too fobbish because i cant stand it! when fob girls speak english they sound majorly bitchy. we were making fun of them yes yes thats mean but who cares. my back hurts!

2002-07-26T01:23:00.000-07:00

I havent written anything since school ended and i think pretty soon whatever is left of my writing skills is going to slip away to an oblivion so i am writing in my wonderful blog.ive been reading intensely lately but i wish that other people read them too so we can discuss it or something. well mar's been doing that for me i suppose. i am seeking adventure! no more movies mall downtown disney (mar!) beach oh well i guess our little business endeavor is adventure. both our parents are laughing at me and mars magnet making business but its pretty fun and they turn out cutey!! im trying to convince everyone on my buddy list to buy some i mean they're 3 for a dollar people practically throw away dollars nowadays. im listening to totally different music now its weird of me bye

2002-06-11T23:26:00.000-07:00

i want to write about today before the feeling slips away....it was just awesome and fun and carefree. going to the beach was so what we needed to get rid of the school feeling. dinner was so yum and delish and jamie marian and i practically licked our plates off we were so hungry. and then we watched the divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood in this really small cute charming movie theater that only plays 2 movies and has been there since the early 1900s. that movie was SO good! and funny and cute and a little psycho. and the ride home was fun too! it was sooo weird bc i turned the radio to kost and we were listening to a song and then i said it would be really perfect if they played ill be there by mariah carey right now bc i put the words to the song on jamies yearbook and she was cracking up about it and then guess what happened?!?! THAT SONG CAME ON RIGHT AFTER!!!!! was that the most perfect timing or what?!?! it was like an omen. really, i could be a psychic. we sang our old onbc songs at the top of our lungs on the way home and now my throat hurts really bad. overall, today was onbc at its best, as gay as that sounds. and it cheered marian up too! woohoo!!! and guess whose idea it was to go to the beach instead of watching videos and who dragged j & m to laguna???? yup the one and only lilian!~!@~@# hahaha

2002-06-09T22:21:00.000-07:00

OMG i havent written in here in just about forever. well i have lots to say but not enough time to say so ill just write the basics. graduation is bringing me mixed feelings....i dont feel overwhelmingly excited "to be getting out of here" (thats the phrase everyone seems to use in my yearbook) but i am definitely not sad to be leaving all my friends. i guess it a mixture but whatever....i already have this premonition that im not going to stay in touch with most of them except probably jamie and marian and im not too sad about that fact. it's like this feeling that i have nothing of troy, my group of friends, and high school in general really imprinted in my heart and mind and i have really left no images of myself or my ideas or anything at high school. im officially washing my hands of high school i guess. i dont even think the graduation ceremony is a big deal and i would actually prefer not to go but then i would be missing out on the most official and overrated tradition in my whole life and then of course im gonna tell myself that i should have gone later and plus my parents would be freakin going crazy at me. yea so anyways i got stung by a bee at the beach today and had to go to the hospital; my foot looked like i had elephantitis and it hurt like heck and i was screaming and people were totally staring but at the time i didn't give a crap if people were looking so i kept on screaming and my grandma (i went on a family outing) kept putting saliva on me because it was supposed to take away the heat from the sting and i was getting more grossed out. i have my physics final tomorrow but i havent taken notes one day or paid attention one day or looked at my book for one second and i havent done a line of homework. i fianally convinced my mom today that it was ok for me to get a C in that class so im very relaxed about it and actually im very relaxed about all my finals or whats left of them because i freakin dont give a crap about high school. ive been reading the anne of green gables series again for the 6th time and i love anne more and more everytime i read them. she is like my BIGGEST role model ever. of course theres no way for me to be like her 100& because you have to just be born like that and i cant metamorphasize my whole personality/character/heart at this age. i wonder if she would have find me to be a kindred spirit had i known her? she has this really sweet oblivion to boys and i am trying SO hard to be like her. anyways i gotta start writing in marian's yearbook so bye.

2002-05-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

im in one of those moods where i hate everyone and i dont really care what they have to say to me. why cant i ignore the little part of me that always wants to make everything better. the best remedy for anything is sleep. and i really want to do that but im waiting for my physics labs. yea i just want to sleep. its so weird. after something bad happens or i get mad at someone i cant do anything until i resolve things bc it just nags me so much. why do i keep getting in little squabbles with everyone?? do i have a personality disorder??? aaaaaaaaaaah. oh and i went to pick up my pictures today for troy tech fair and every single picture turned out like shit. oh gosh im so pissed. and i also wish that prom would stop being such a difficult affair. i think each couple should just eat dinner by themselves and meet at the dance or something. i got earrings for prom today....they're black and dangly. i need to think of a way to cheer myself up and get a natural high.

2002-05-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

i am so freakin bored right now. i cant even think of things to do except homework. and i have things to study for but i have this unnatural nonchalant attitude towards school right now. geeeeeez.....and im sweating my ass off right now. its so unbelievably hot in my house even with all the windows open and i think its too early to put the ac on. gotta go running now. ta ta! oh btw i found this really cute yellow dress for prom!

2002-05-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

im a girl on a mission: to make chocolate covered strawberries. emily told me how to make them but it kinda sounds a smidge complicated. soemthing about big pots and small pots and the kind. im gonna make it for my saskia and sharon. they have this crazy obsession for anything chocolate. today i read this article in the national geographic and on the cover was this afghan lady. the weird thing is that she was on the cover of the same magazine 17 years ago but nobody knew who she was bc it was a random photograph but they recently found her again and took new pictures of her. i never knew anyone's eyes could be so pretty. i mean....her eyes are like 3 different shades of GREEN. i was so amazed. and she was so pretty too...seriously beautiful. but that was only in the picture they took of her 17 years ago and not the recent one. in the recent one she looks really old and kinda hairy and her skin looks like 20 year old leather. only her eyes look somewhat similar. i was just soo...touched. it was really amazing to see the difference between the two photographs. they were so different yet so similar.

so anyways i got a new bag yesterday! its so cute.
i have to start shaving my legs again. i havent shaved in....nearly 6 months. thats pretty long. but my legs arent super HAIRY or anything. you cant even tell from far away but still. yes well i saw this book called im the one that i want by margaret cho and it looks SO hilarious. i am definitely gonna get it. i think shes the only korean comedian in america! and she's a WOMAN.

2002-05-07T23:19:00.000-07:00

i am doing well today. tres relaxed and peaceful. i think my methods to self improvement are working. i havent done french homework for the last two weeks. need to catch up Fast!
guys, dont be bummed. i know i put this everywhere but really, don't sweat it, they defintely aren't worth the anguish. that works for me! of course it might not work for some of you but im just saying...

2002-05-06T16:50:00.000-07:00

things ive noticed about myself: i can change my mood in a matter of seconds. honestly. ill feel so happy one second and then something so stupid and trite happens that normally shouldnt and wouldnt disturb me in any way except ill pretend like it does and then somehow i really will feel like poop.

im too self absorbed!

thats something i have realized right this second - right after writing that first paragraph. something someone said helped me to see that. no more lilian!
telling someone your problems really does alleviate some of the burden.

2002-05-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

hieeee my beautiful journal! i am taking a break from studying for the ap test tomorrow....geez luiz puleeeze i am soo tired of reading poetry and dumb little passages. yikes...yesterday i realized that i am a major people hater. yes that is mighty bad and i dont like being one but everyone i hate i have a legitimate reason! or sort of. i guess sometimes its for no reason. AHH its the korean coming out in me. i cant help it. i have set so many new goals for myself recently. many of them i just prefer to keep them in my little mind but one is to start being nice to the people who give me a pedicure no matter how ugly they do them or how bitchy they are. i mean.....think about it..they have to massage people's feet all day! that is seriously the nastiest job. i have to go shopping soon. i dont think my beautiful diet is working so hot. hmm..
oh another thing i realized....im a hypocrite. but id prefer to not get into that at this moment in time.
isnt it funny how some of the words in my journal are underlined and its a link to somewhere? i mean....what kind of link does CRAP go to??
pray for my mom please.

2002-05-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

ashes to ashs and dust to dust. that is the quote of life. life is nothing, really. its nothing more than temporary happiness at different points. enough of this. marian asked me if im just in a bad mood today bc im putting everyone down. i think i am. isnt it strange to think that one person can alter your mood? it just takes one person and one comment or action from them to make you feel like crap.

my cousin from korean came to our house today to visit. i have nothing to say to her so i just dont talk to her but my mom says that im acting mean. i dont care.

im through with guys. they are so dumb and retarded. i dont ever want a boyfriend. i dont ever want to feel for someone as more than friends.

why the fuck do i have so much homework and why the fuck do i care about my homework so much when im graduating in 1 month.

2002-04-22T23:54:00.000-07:00

yes! i finished my math poster...its very colorful green/blue/red/pink/orange. love spelll...mMmmm....scent is pretty/exotic. thinking about diff stuff; senior year - beginning and end lots of contrast. did i change? maybe maybe not i cant figure it out tired...under the spell...want sleep and dreams....dreams dreams dreams

2002-04-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

mmm....im enjoying a smoothie right now..D-lish! well i havent wrote in here for a while so i decided i should check in occasionally or something. umm..im getting a tad annoyed that baskin robbins isnt calling me. its been like a week so far and they said they would call me soon. oh! im terribly excited about my digital camera....im gonna take pictures of everything!! especially of turkeys! haha more good news: im on a major diet with pammy wammy. no, really like Serious diets with NO cheating. im so sick of being the fattest person in my family! argh! i wanna watch frailty....someone told me it was really good...and scorpion king too.

2002-04-16T22:05:00.000-07:00

I FUCKING HATE TROY! I CANT BELIEVE THE STUPID SHIT THEY FEED US ABOUT TROY TECH AND IB AND NATIONAL BLUE RIBBON CRAP. TODAY I SAW PEOPLE FROM JR HIGH AND THEY WERE LIKE, OH I DONT KNOW WHICH SCHOOL TO GO TO, DUKE OR NYU OR BERKELEY OR SWATHMORE. IF THEY CAME TO TROY THEY WOULD BE GOING TO LIKE UCR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM. HONESTLY PAM AND I WERE PRACTICALLY CRYING ON THE WAY HOME TODAY...THIS IS LIKE A MAJOR SLAP IN THE FACE. AND WHATS EVEN WORSE....THEY ARE ALL IN AP PHYSICS AND GUESS WHAT BOOK THEY USE??? MY BOOK! AND GUESS WHAT PHYSICS IM IN??? REGULAR!!! THAT JUST KILLS ME. TROY SCREWED US OVER...LIKE CRAZY

2002-04-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

right now its so peaceful in my room because for once it is super clean and neat. i feel motivated to do my homework because my desk is so bare and just waiting for me to use it. i finally turned in my baskin robbins application! i was so happy because the person who took it was an older korean woman who was talking to me a lot about troy and my classes and stuff and i totally thought she was the manager so i was thinking that i would get hired on the spot or something but apparently shes not because at the end she said that she would pass my application on to the manager who would call me soon. oh it was so funny today because on our way home, pam and i were screaming and singing at the top of our longs like we do every day and i guess my phone was unlocked because it called my house and my grandma picked up and was shouting my name like crazy but of course i didnt hear her. i can start driving to school again tomorrow although i dont care either way driving or not driving. ive rediscovered the joy of having someone take me around everywhere and not worrying about speed limit or almost accident situations or gas blah blah. it would be so perfect if i had a butler named harrold who was my personal chauffeur (sp?) and i had a macdonalds connected to my house like in richie rich but except it would be baha fresh because i adore that place. yesterday i went to go eat there and i brought back a burrito to eat today but my aunt took it to work so i was bummed out and i need a fix of baha fresh right now. i kinda want to eat a turkey sandwhich too (*wink wink) .
ack i sound like im pregnant

2002-04-14T11:53:00.000-07:00

LAST DAY OF SPRING BREAK! i have so much homework to catch up on. my last spring break of high school was pretty good. tres relaxing. i watched the sweetest thing with cameron diaz and christina applegate...it was SO cute! that movie made me so glad i was going to college and getting a roommate and all that stuff. hmm im really in the mood for clam chowder. i wanted it last night at tgif's too but i wasnt really hungry. i wanna go to claim jumper! they have the best clam chowder on this side of the county. haha that was a little corny yes but anyways why am i so bored when i have tons of things to be doing? its almost 12 and im still wearing my jammies which is really bad and lazy of me. bad bad bad!

i decided that i want to be a photographer so when im at places like in n out, where i saw the cutest boy in world, i can go up to him and say, "hi, im a photographer and i think you have potential to be a model. do you mind if i snap some pictures of you?" and of course i would keep the picture framed next to my bed. ok anyways thats a little silly of me.

i should really go turn in my application to baskin robbins. i have had it filled out for a week and i just havent given it back to them. i really want that job! or any job for that matter...i just want to get out of internship. i have basically worked 150 for the fullerton observer without really doing anything conclusive. im actually pretty sick of going to that place and im done with the hours but i cant tell them that i want to stop and for some reason i was bamboozled into doing the calendar section for the august issue with all the other interns. poo.. and whats even worse is that im supposed to do a page on high school/college/sats etc etc but i dont have a clue what to write about anymore. ergh! i have no potential to do anything....i quit fbla, im on the verge of quitting internship without any evidence of what i did for the last 7 months, and im getting not so great grades in my classes..oh! but theres a spark of hope for me yet...im taking photography classes soon in order to pursue my dream! hahaha
toodles! im going off to read the plague or do my french or whatever else happens to come up today

2002-04-12T11:36:00.000-07:00

i just woke up RIGHT now! oh my goodness i dont know how im going to wake up for school. going to chiro kills my whole freakin day! i was supposed to go on wed but i want to stop going so my mom called to cancel and they said that i need to have a final evaluation and we rescheduled to today at 3. yea well the only problem is that im supposed to work on the battery car and then go to graces house (in laguna niguel) at 4 at which point i am going to hit mad traffic. so i decided not to go. and so all i am doing today is going to the stupid chiropracter who i really hate who i also think has the hots for my aunt. well maybe.

anyways i decided to be productive and do all my homework today and study for ap tests. well i only have 3 to take but i think i should somewhat start studying for those. im still waiting for the car to come out of the body shop...i think they are keeping it for a long time bc the insurance company is paying them and not us. ergh! i have this trapped back to sophomore year feeling everytime i want to go somewhere but realize that i have to walk or ask for a ride.

oh btw visitng mr. chiang was pretty fun, it wasnt extraordinarily special or anything..he had 9 people in his teeny tiny office when i went so it was crazy hot but luckily half of them left. me and grace bought him a really delish fruit cake and so we were stuffing ourselves with it but we kinda felt like intruders bc i could tell the other people were not exactly excited to have us chatting and eating cake during their tutor time. oh guess what marian?! *rachel is also one if his students! mr chiang was like, yea one of my students got into yale but he got accepted in the northwestern 7 year med program so hes gonna go there. i was like...yea i heard of this guy that got in too, does his name happen to be rachel? i was just asking that for the heck of it, not because i really thought they were the same person, but lo and behold mr. chiang goes, yes rachel hah from u**** high school. and i did a double take. it was so strange and remember brian (sperm?) is also one of his students? that is a weird wierd thing.

2002-04-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

i remet the cutest boy in the world today. i sat next to him in jr high english class because we were lee and leary and he was a little cute back then but now he is like freakin gorgeous! really, he could be a model, i have never met anyone quite so good looking as him in my entire life i think. anyways i was going crazy over him with pam and i made such an idiot over myself staring at him. and whats more he drives a white mustang! the exact same car i want! anyways me and pam went to go visit ehs and seeing everyone made me so sad to realize that my high school years were so nothing and boring and filled with studying, not that i even studied that much. my sophomore and senior years were the best but i regret not going to ehs more than ever. when i looked at all my friends today i thought to myself i could have been one of them but instead i chose the road less taken. or is it the path less taken? something like that. anyway its too late to think about things like that so im just looking forward to ucla. grace is picking me up soon in her cute red bug to go visit mr. chiang. i havent talked to him since december and i kinda miss him. i wonder if he's nice as ever? i feel a little bummed to tell him that im going to ucla bc all this other students went to yale and wellesley and johns hopkins etc etc. geez i sound so freakin drepressed but im not at all....just a little nostalgic i guess. ok gotta go now.

2002-04-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

2002-04-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

finally i started my online journal! i feel like doogie howser md when he always used to type his journal onto his computer at the end of every show. I thought I would be really sad right now but I guess im accepting everything better than i thought i would. high school is such a joke compared to real life so im telling myself that what i feel now is going to be insignificant later. on a more cheerful note, im going to college with some really cute people! im excited...im currently reading the heart of darkness indirectly recommended to me by r**. i got that book for only a dollar! man am i a bargain shopper or what? not to mention that i clipped 3 coupons from last sunday's paper for some really yummy restaurants which i will have to use very soon so tell me if you want to go eat with me. thats all for right now